Hi, I’m Monica Jayne
The original Trailblazer of Unabashed Badassery™
I’ve overcome and recovered from so much…
(Trigger Warning – there is some heavy stuff on this list.)
- Being an adult child of an alcoholic and drug addict
- Early parentification
- Childhood sexual abuse
- Committing a crime at age 8 that had me threatened to be taken from my parents as a Ward of the State
- High school bullying to the point of death threats
- Moving high schools, towns, states
- Gaining and losing lots of weight
- Type-A, hyper-toxic-masculinity, overachiever
- Nervous breakdown
- Pursuing the American Dream because I “should”, not because I want to
- 6-Figure Executive in Operations Management in Aerospace and Defense
- Gaslighting
- From rags to riches back to rags back to riches
- Foreclosure
- Infidelity
- Uplanned pregnancy and abortion
- Becoming a Sex Coach and Educator and all the societal shaming and condemnation that comes with that
- Immediate family falling apart completely, sibling disowning me - becoming an orphan at 28 years old overnight
- Profoundly repressed sexuality and libido
- Debilitating shame about my sexuality
- Never learned to masturbate naturally
- Anorgasmia - the inability to orgasm
- Rape and attempted rape
- Conforming to all the shoulds and shouldn’ts prescribed by society, culture, religion, and family and completely losing my sense of self
- Being the “good girl”
- Being the “good student”
- Questioning my gender
- Questioning my identity
- Dream of having a yoga business crumbling
- Betrayal of a boss and of a company
- Living and travelling internationally across 6 continents and over 45 countries
- Suicidal ideations
- Serial monogamy with relationship-after-relationship ending miserably
- Death of my mother, my best friend, after being her primary care-giver and patient advocate as she battled cancer
- Father returning to drugs and alcohol after 24 years sober and getting DUIs with blood alcohol levels that should kill a person
- Grieving all of this loss
I get it. I see you. I’ve been there or somewhere very near there. I have overcome all of the above and more.
Mom and Monica Jayne back in 1992
Growing up, my self-expression was repressed, molded , and determined by the shoulds and shouldn'ts learned from society, culture, religion, and family (SCRF™ - "scarf")
My Roman Catholic mother would cover my eyes if people on the television screen started kissing. If the scene got too noisy, she would cover my ears too!
From this consistent repression, I was conditioned to, as soon as I became aroused, pretend that I was not, to turn it off and quick!
I carried into my adulthood, into my intimate interactions, into my everyday life this conditioning to immediately shut down and absolutely repress and deny all arousal I experienced.
At 28, I was at my mother’s deathbed feeling confused and aching to speak to her once-and-for-all about sexulity. I grappled for days with the decision to bring it up knowing she was dying and knowing I didn’t want to upset her. I decided I could ask and she could say “no” and that would be much better than having to live the rest of my life having not asked and wondering what would have happened…
I am SO glad I did
I was shaking when she asked, “What is it?” I gulped and asked, “Mom, have you ever had an orgasm?”
She paused, looked around, took some breaths, finally looked back at me then replied, “I don’t know.” Our conversation lasted quite a while and it ended with her saying, “If I had it to do over again, I’d be more open and adventurous sexually.”
Wow! Finally! The spell was broken, the permission given, I was set free to get acquainted with my pleasure, my turn-on and arousal, my eroticism, the essence of what lights me up and makes life worth living
This is the journey of self-inquiry and discovery I have been on since then.
MY BREADTH OF EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE IS WIDE, DEEP, AND UNMATCHED.
Monica Jayne in 2008 as a Licensed Real Estate Professional
I consider it a huge privilege and honor to have studied directly with the most amazing mentors including vulnerability expert Brené Brown, relationship and polarity expert Alison Armstrong, mindset expert Dr. Joe Dispenza, and sexuality expert Jaiya.
I’ve travelled to over 45 countries across 6 continents in pursuit of finding myself, completing countless programs, workshops, and conferences, attending sex clubs and BDSM dungeons, all to study interpersonal relationships, communication, sex, and intimacy across cultures.
I am a Certified Erotic Blueprint Coach™ so that I can share with you the most sophisticated, detailed, and practical sex education for pleasure, fulfillment, and satisfaction availble on Earth!
Erotic Blueprints™ As Seen On
Previous
Next
I am Certified in Accelerated Evolution™ so that I can guide you through transformative experiences that allow you to dissolve inner conflict, emotional knots and stored trauma, which creates in you the natural emergence of peace of mind, flow, and effortless peak existence.
I am an Authentic Relating facilitator so that I can offer you guidance to create and embody more connected, vulnerable and authentic interactions and relationships in your life.
I am currently pursuing education in Sexological Bodywork with Joseph Kramer so that I can help you to awaken and improve your mind/body connection to deepen your self-understanding, sexuality, and eroticism.
I am a Certified Yoga Teacher with an accumulated 5000 hours of continuing education experience in yoga asana, theory, and philosophy studying with experts like Sarah Powers, Erich Schiffmann, and Judith Hansen Lasater and educating students at an accredited collegiate institution and top yoga studios like Santa Barbara Yoga Studio.
I teach and practice somatic experiences, embodiment, erotic movement, shadow work, and archetypal union.
I am also certified in Queer Competency™ Certification, which means my business has been tested and passed as LGBTQIA+ friendly and inclusive.
In my former life, it was 2006 when I graduated magna cum laude with a dual degree B.A. in Spanish and B.S. in Business, with a double major in International Business and Economics. I completed this former life, by working my way to the top in Corporate America to a 6-figure executive position after just one and a half years in the male-dominated industry of Aerospace and Defense.
A LOT has changed for me since then… as I’ve come more and more authentically into who I truly BE!
Monica Jayne in 2005 trying to conform to the “norms” of professionals. While everyone else was in black, white, grey, and blue, she wore green, blue, and brown!
I IDENTIFY AS GENDERQUEER
What this means for me is that my gender identity does not fit the “norms” associated with my biological sex. I was assigned female at birth.
Growing up female, I conformed the best I could to what that “meant” about me. And I was miserable.
Always ridiculing myself for not “womaning” correctly, not being “feminine” enough, being too “masculine”, “manly”, direct, outspoken, strong…
Now, I’m in a major phase of gender-questioning and dismantling all the conditioning and “norms” prescribed to me from society, culture, religion, and family. I am gender non-conforming, always have been, always will be. These days I use she/her and they/them pronouns.
Uncovering my true identity is a journey and a work in progress.
Gender, sexuality, sexual orientation, self-expression? These are all fluid and our world likes to tell us we are “neurotic” or “unstable” if we let them change too drastically or too often.
I DO NOT SUBSCRIBE TO THAT ANYMORE!
I want you to have freedom of expression and fluidity too - no matter your gender identity or expression, your sexual orientation, etc.!
The truth is, I never would have allowed myself to uncover this aspect of my identity had I not embraced my eroticsim and gotten in touch with my authentic eros – what’s life-giving to me and what lights me up and makes my life worth living!
aspects of well-being
Self-care for all of these aspects of our beingness is absolutely essential to our vitality and health.
Like you and many others, most of my life was spent completely losing track of who I was born to be while subscribing to the conditioning of who and how to be from society, culture, religion, and family.
I checked all the boxes of what you are supposed to achieve and do. And I was never truly happy.
I paid great attention to my physical, spiritual, emotional, and psychological well-being by eating well, exercising, spending time in nature, yoga, spiritual practice, counseling, self-help, etc.
But, for the first 30 years of my life, I was missing the most instrumental piece of the pie - I was missing self-care for my eroticism, sexuality, and pleasure.
Awakening to my eroticism and giving it as much space, study, care, and time as I gave these other aspects of my well-being has been instrumental in my resurrecting my truth, creating and living an authentic life, knowing my needs, wants, and desires, and giving myself permission to express who I am and speak up!!
As a person who is now in touch with my turn-on I rarely question myself anymore, what I want, what I don’t want.
I am clear.
I recommit to staying in touch with and to maintaining my state every day. I’m the most sturdy, solid version of myself I’ve encountered.
I watch the same happen with clients.
They’ll say, “Receiving coaching with you has been the Rite of Passage into adulthood I’ve been missing, it is a fortification of solidly knowing who I am and what I want in life and has given me the confidence to get it!”
Most of us do things to maintain our physical, spiritual, emotional, and psychological well-being, while neglecting our eroticism, our ever-flowing life-force, giving it attention only where and when it feels convenient. Imagine if you did that with eating and breathing! You’d die.
All of the things you are a “yes” to, feed and maintain your erotic well-being. This self-care includes not only acts of physical intimacy but also things like beautiful sunsets, delicious meals, taking a walk, loving what you’re wearing, maintaining your hairstyle, amazing conversations, a great book, spending time with pets you love, and so much more!
All of these aspects of your well-being are essential to your livelihood; your vitality.
You are dying slowly when you do not give attention to your erotic well-being, to your arousal, to your turn-on, when you do not listen to your inner “yes” and “no” to feed and nourish yourself with what lights you up.
I recognized this for myself over a decade ago and my life is better than it’s ever been, and that is why I’ve become certified in educating and coaching others on sexual wholeness, erotic awakening, and unabashed self-expression.
I want for you what I've manifested and cultivated for myself:
The courage to be unabashedly you no matter who you’re with or the context you’re in, solid in who you are and what you desire and able to speak up for yourself with confidence and grace no matter who you are with.
🙌
I'm Here To Support You To Be Unabashedly You!
Are you ready To Give Yourself The Gift Of Confidence And Courage To Be Unabashedly You?
What this requires is that you realize what you’re doing and being only because you were told you are supposed to and not because it would be your authentic choice.
You must become aware of all of these life-taking actions and beliefs you are living out in order to recover your truth. Only then can you begin to create a life you actually desire.
I’ve created beginner to "highly-advanced" ways for you to do this. I’d love for you to join me!
Success Stories
These amazing humans have accomplished amazing things with me...
Monica Jayne is an Intuitive Facilitator Monica Jayne has intuitive nature, deep insight into her own journey, and is an excellent facilitator and teacher. Her depth of knowledge and sense of humor make the sessions enjoyable and informational, very practical!
Monica Jayne is a Trailblazer Monica Jayne I love your spontaneity, how passionate and joyful you are about life and everything/everyone around you. Your ability to hold, love, and nurture is immense and inspiring. You are a remarkable woman and human being. I love how committed you are about making a difference for yourself and others. Thank you for moving and inspiring me and us who come across your path. I love you.
Monica Jayne is dedicated to Living Unabashedly I just wanted to give a shout out to my dear friend Monica Jayne, erotic coach, seeker of an unabashed life, and a lady who is dedicated to getting more and more real with herself. I have known Monica for 20 years and our relationship has been one of growth and all that comes along with expanding and contracting with each other as we keep growing into our own skin. Yesterday I saw Monica teaching a class and rock her goddess power strong! I'm proud of the woman you are Monica, and I'm grateful of where we have been and where we are now. ❤️
Monica Jayne provides a Safe Place to Grow Monica Jayne is a compassionately fierce mentor who I confidently know has my back and sets the example of how to have my own back, as well. Because she actively practices what she teaches, it allows others to express themselves freely and see how communication skills, boundary setting, self-care and self-love apply in real life. By encouraging playfulness, that nurtures curiosity and exploration, she generates ease-ful authentic participation. Monica Jayne’s mindful honesty establishes trust in the mentor-student relationship. Since Monica Jayne is unabashedly herself, it creates a safe space for us to be unabashedly us.
MISSION
To provide safer and inclusive spaces for humans to heal the shame from religious, familial, and societal conditioning, so that they can evolve into complete self-love and self-acceptance.
VISION
A world where everyone is accepted for who they are; where everyone feels safe and confident to know and speak up for their needs, wants, desires, and boundaries; and where we all communicate with clarity, acceptance, and love.
CORE BRAND VALUES
-
WE CREATE SAFER PLACES
We are accepting of our authenticity and internal spaces. We speak expectations and create agreements for the external spaces in which we interact. -
SELF-RESPONSIBILITY IS A MUST
We believe everyone is responsible for and capable of being the source of creating their own happiness. -
CLARITY IN COMMUNICATION
We are clear and direct within ourselves, as such we are clear and direct with each other. -
BE UNABASHEDLY YOU
Everyone is free to be radically self-expressed. Permission slips granted. -
CONSCIOUS REBELLION
We are conscious rebels destigmatizing the “taboo” and forging the path to a new humanity. -
PRACTICAL LIFE-SKILLS
We don’t deliver theory, we deliver practical life-skills education you can take action on today.
Erotic Blueprints™
I am a Certified Erotic Blueprint Coach™. The Erotic Blueprints are a sophisticated yet simple framework that describes and defines the ways bodies are wired to experience the world and specifically, pleasure. This is a body’s erotic language – like the five Love Languages™ but for sexuality.
Knowing your Erotic Blueprint is paramount to you understanding yourself on a deep level, knowing what you want, and being able to speak up for yourself in an effective manner that gets your needs met so you can feel fulfilled.
Knowing the Blueprint of your partner(s) is wonderful for both you and them! When you know, you can truly honor, see, feel, and understand them to the core, which gives you deep connection.
We typically give pleasure in the way we want to receive it, and if it is a mismatch to our partner’s wiring this can cause resentment, upset, starvation, and unfulfillment. This is the state most of my clients are in when they first reach out for help.
This state can lead to being in a sexless relationship or fears of losing your partner. If you’re there, know you are not alone and there is hope! Most of my client couples recover their relationship and those that don’t part ways consciously feeling really grounded and conscious in their decisions.
When we do know one another’s Blueprint we are able to honor the deepest core essence of our beingness. We are able to meet each other in ways that are fulfilling, satisfying, deeply connecting and fun!
When you choose to work with me, we get to discover and explore your Core Erotic Bluprint(s)™ to expand your pleasure potential, grow your sexual mastery, and increase your capacity for deep and authentic connection to yourself and your lovers.
My life has changed forever since I learned about the Erotic Blueprints, embodied them, and applied them to all areas of life.
See, how you are wired to experience intimate relationships also affects how you experience work, family, community and friends. Your wiring shows up in what you choose to eat, wear, and do when you are tapped in and connected. Otherwise your decisions come from social conditioning and what you think you should do.
There are 5 Erotic Blueprints™ and we don’t have the time and space to go through the infinite nature of the full erotic potential of each. Perhaps the following taster will whet your appetite for now and you will allow me to guide you into the depths later on.
Erotic Blueprints™ As Seen On
Previous
Next
which EROTIC BLUEPRINT™ are you?
Energetic Blueprint™
✨ Turned-on by space, anticipation, tease, energy, presence, intellectual conversation, eye contact and gazing.
✨ Preferred touch is light and hovering. I call it “touchy-not-touching” – that’s a technical term! Too much touch and they may not feel anything at all from dissociation or too much stimulation.
✨Modalities that feed them include tantra, yoga, meditation, kundalini yoga, qi gong, tai chi.
Sensual Blueprint™
🌹 Turned-on by igniting all the senses with surroundings, atmosphere, music, movement, textures, smells, food, massage.
🌹 Preferred touch is as much skin surface touching as much of another skin surface as possible, contouring to the shape of what’s being touched, get in those cracks and crevices with a heavy, grounding, lingering contoured touch.
🌹 Modalities that feed them massage, grinding, cuddling, and super-duper snuggling and nestling into each other.
Sexual Blueprint™
🔥 Turned-on by nakedness, skin, genitalia, breasts, booty, body parts, penetration, certainty of penetration and orgasm, joy, fun, play, frequency.
🔥 Preferred touch on their genitals and in their genitals or touching or stroking another person.
🔥Modalities that feed them straight up sex as society portrays it – quick foreplay make-out sesh then penetration to orgasm and climax, done!
Kinky Blueprint™
💀 Turned-on by things that are taboo to them – meaning things they believe they may be judged for being turned on by, naughtiness or “the forbidden”, infinite possibilities, wonder, curiosity.
💀 Preferred touch if they are into sensation play, could be spanking, slapping, smacking, pinching, punching, pulling, constriction, binding, etc.
💀Modalities that feed them BDSM for sensation-based or psychologically-based kinky or just anything that’s out of the so-called “norm” like age-play or pretending to be animals.
Shapeshifter Blueprint™
🦄 Turned-on by all of what’s mentioned for the other Blueprints and wants it all, all at once or one-at-a-time, one after the other; diversity and variety are a must.
🦄 Preferred touch all of it!
🦄 Modalities that feed them all of it!!
🦄 Folx with this Blueprint want it all and can play for hours and days on end.
It is important to note that each Blueprint has both Superpowers and Shadows,
which can create more passion or more disconnection between you and your partner(s)...
We can work together to identify your unique Erotic Blueprint(s), Superpowers, and to heal the Shadows and integrate them so that they no longer debilitate you from realizing your erotic potential or create disconnection.
A common example of an Erotic Blueprint Shadow is getting into your head either with performance anxiety or thinking about anything but the intimate act you are in. This is a Sensual Shadow. You will certainly alleviate this shadow when we work together. There are band-aide, quick-fixes, which I do not do. Rather, we will do deeper inner work truly processing and integrating so that you authentically move past any Shadow that’s debilitating you from experiencing your pleasure potential.
After I first discovered the Blueprints, it took me a couple of years to hire a coach!! It wasn’t until I did that I really got the most out of the framework.
Join me in the deeper study and blow your eroticism into the ethers too – solve the issues you’re currently experiencing so that you can have deep connection, fulfillment, and satisfaction!
Uncover your map to ecstasy and experience your very own Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™!
Erotic Blueprints™ As Seen On
Previous
Next
Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough Course™ Success Stories
I walk through life finding pleasure in everything Before the Blueprint course, I was very ashamed of my sexuality, so much so that I would choose romantic relationships that weren’t sexual in order to avoid my insatiable hunger. I was so afraid of my turn on and my desire. The Blueprint course validated my shapeshifter tendencies and allowed me to step into my full fierceness, not only in sex, but in relationships, business, and as a mother as well. I walk through life with more pizazz and excitement, finding pleasure in everything and with more confidence in knowing that I can indeed have it all!
I finally know what arouses me My husband always asked me what I wanted sexually. I said I don’t know because I really didn’t. Now I feel like I have an idea of what I need to be turned on but I need more help in getting rid of my hesitations and shade to be fully capable of satisfaction.
My marriage has completely transformed I had been in a relatively sexless relationship for 35 years. When we married, I thought it would get better. I was too shy and ashamed to ask for what I needed. Thought that he was not attracted to me, and went to bed hoping that tonight would be the night, and always went to sleep feeling rejected. Then we discovered the Blueprints. A vehicle to bring us closer together in a way that neither of us ever thought was possible. Our sexlife has completely turned around since we’ve learnt how to please each other. We are closer and more in love than the day we married. I am utterly grateful and feeling full of passion and lighted hearted fun.
I now have the vocabulary and understanding to communicate my needs I have always been a sexually open person with an internal drive to always want more. This class helped to understand that. This is me and all I need to do is accept myself moving forward. In the future it will help my partner to better understand my needs and my hope is that through communication and trust we can both reach a point where we are fulfilling our erotic potential together while keeping her personal blueprint needs in mind.
